Yes, You Need a Gym

It's almost New Year's Day and it's time for the resolutionists to crowd my second home, 12th Street Gym. But if you were to read social media - particularly the bowels of Tumblr - you'd wonder if anyone under the age of 25 has ever stepped on a treadmill, let alone used a squat rack. 

While others might look on these resolutionists with disdain, I say the more the merrier. For one, they keep my yearly membership prices low because 90% of them will be buried in a box of chocolates by February 14th and never return. But to the 10% that stay, those courageously sweating through their XL sweatpants on January 1st, I say "Bravo, and Welcome!"

There is no question that our current culture of political correctness is merely a hypocritical backdoor to express prejudice under the guise of sympathetic acceptance. Whether our social justice warriors are commending Caitlyn Jenner for her bravery or chastising a public school for an athletics program that "shames" overweight children, PC culture simply seeks to relegate those in the minority to the corners of their consciousness with frustrating strategy. 

It's easy to say PC culture comes from a "good place," but that's unfortunately untrue. PC culture is a product of those in the whitewashed majority narcissistically making social causes about themselves. It's a sneaky - and perhaps subconscious - way to profess progressiveness and liberalism while still standing at the top of the pyramid. 

It's incredibly condescending, and perhaps nowhere more than in the arena of "Fat Shaming." 

While LGBT individuals, ethnic and religious minorities, can brush off the condescension of "Liberal Guilt" as straight, white people being straight, white people, the social justice warriors who've charged themselves in the fight against "Fat Shaming" are neglecting a demographic that truly needs intervention and change. Obese people shouldn't be shamed - obviously - but their condition also shouldn't be ignored.

Unlike sexual orientation, gender identity, race, or religion, obesity isn't always a predisposition or choice, and when it is, it isn't a good one and one to be dealt with. We're not talking about someone's freedom to be who they are or safety practice a faith, we're talking about an epidemic disease, and one beginning at an increasingly young age. To end the discussion with the notion that "Fat Shaming" is bad - as it all too often does in the school gym class - is akin to saying cancer is something to be accepted, not addressed. 

The dumbbell is your friend.

Schools began by banning dodgeball, the one sport scrawny nerds like me actually enjoyed. Then the bully-buzzword spread to the whole notion of gym as a class. Many schools now offer alternatives to gym class, if they offer gym at all. Many kids already threatened by obesity are now being forced into a life with no other option, all under the guise of their own safety. 

But the plague has even spread into to fitness industry. While the fitness industry has always been a welcome mat for pop culture diets and quick fix fads, the gym has always been the place for those truly dedicated to their own health and fitness. But with gyms like Planet Fitness and local carbon copies, corporate brainiacs have capitalized on the "Fat Shaming" buzz to delude those in need into thinking the road to health costs $10 a month and comes with free pizza. 

The deplorable tactics by these so-called "fitness communities" should be nothing new to those in need of the utmost motivation, because they're akin to physicians who over-prescribe drugs and tackle diabetes solely through medication. It's truly unfortunate that Certified Personal Trainers are scoffed at as fly-by-night spin class instructors and not the gruelingly educated professionals that we are, because we seem to be the only ones who care. 

Places like Planet Fitness are perpetuating the false ideal that the fit are the bullies, the "Fat Shamers," by installing "Lunk Alarms" and removing squat racks, all to quell the insecurity of those desperately wanting the security of a healthy physique. 

I've got news for you, we aren't the enemy. 

Joining a gym is easy, but going for the first time is intimidating. It took me a long time to realize that the vast majority of meatheads at 12th Street Gym started exactly where I did, and that they were never judging me for fumbling my way through the beginning of my journey. If anything, I was only judged when I quit, slacked off, or assumed I was being judged. 

The gym - a real gym - is very much a community, and one you want to be a part of. Seeing someone struggle through their repetitions or on the stairclimber is inspirational, even to the fittest amongst us, even when the person struggling weighs 300lbs. It reminds us that we didn't join this gym - this community - because of a short lived resolution, but because it simply needed to be part of our lives, like paying rent or eating. The gym is a necessity of a healthy life, one that keeps you alive and off the operating table. 

Obesity is not something to be shamed, but the dialogue shouldn't end there. Obesity is something to be addressed, like anything else that sends you to the doctor's office. And the best way to address it is by signing up, swallowing your pride, and finding support in those who truly care about your wellbeing. And I assure you, those people are not social justice warriors who spout phrases like "Fat Shaming," they are those who will tell you what you are truly capable of and show you how to be the best man (or woman) you can be. 

"Drop the T"

Earlier this year, a Change.org petition to "Drop the T" began circulating around social media. The response was brutal, and rightfully so. The petition itself reeks of Log Cabin rhetoric and reactionary politics. 

"Drop the T" refers to the transgender community's role in the LGBT community and attempts to address an apparent rift between sexual orientation and gender identity. 

The verbiage is crude, and obviously comes from a less than compassionate place, but the idea of separating the T from the LGB does have a certain amount of objective credibility.

In the historical context of our community, we banded together at one time as sexual misfits. In the '60s and '70s there wasn't a lot of delineation between gender expression and those who engaged in same-sex intercourse. We sought solace in our collective differences by arranging gatherings and political rallies from the dimly lit bars and private clubs that accepted us. 

But things have changed. 

There are plenty of transgender individuals, as well as LGB ones, who have proven over and over that we don't share a broad enough range of political opinions to remain under one tent in 2015. Most notable might be Caitlyn Jenner, who's conservative opinions have drawn ire from LGBT advocacy groups. 

However, Jenner's viewpoints, as disturbing as they may be to veterans of the LGBT rights movement, may be emblematic proof that the transgender community is experiencing its own evolution. Like changes the LGB community experienced in the late '70s and early '80s, when we shifted from free-love to picket fences, transgender people like Jenner are expressing individuality that deviates from our all-encompassing umbrella, and it shouldn't come as a shock. 

Our older transgender friends came to terms with their identities in gay bars and Gayborhood community centers, and that bonded us. But Jenner came into her own with the support of her family and broadcasted it to the world. Whether or not you think she's a role model or a deplorable conservative, we can expect more of the same: transgender men and women who come out outside any traditional notion of the "gay community," and they're not going to be aligned with our causes by default.

This isn't a callous assessment, it's Cultural Anthropology 101. In fact, this petition expresses a reality, just from the wrong vantage point. Sexual orientation and gender identity deserve their own unique platforms, but most notably because this social conglomerate does a disservice to the transgender community by putting them on the back burner in lieu of the more socially accepted LGBs.

Groups like GLAAD and the HRC can continue to support the transgender community even if they decide to establish their own proprietary platforms, much the way many liberal lobby groups support each other. The transgender community could be more successful by isolating their own unique causes, challenges, and fights from their own podium instead of waiting for the LGBs to tackle our own first. 

As a gay man, I'm proudly supportive of transgender rights, as I am ethnic and religious minorities. But like ethnic and religious minorities, I don't share the same specific prejudices and discriminations and will never personally understand what a transgender person deals with the way I understand my fellow LGBs. 

It's possible for us to be an empathetic LGB community - a mark this petition sorely misses - without leading the transgender fight for them by affixing a letter to the end of our acronym. There seems to be a lot of knee-jerk hatred for the transgender community and nearly as much blind support in response to this petition, but none of that will change until both communities align ourselves in the most practical way. 

Step back and look at it with objectivity. Why wouldn't either community want to put ourselves in the best position possible for both of our futures? Perhaps focusing on our own unique struggles from our own unique camps would be the best way for us all to come together. 

AskMen and BroBible and the unexpected tolerance amongst the male-only audience

As I was browsing Facebook this morning, I stumbled upon the AskMen.com article, When Your Friend Comes Out To You. It was charming, accurate, and refreshingly geared towards AskMen's audience of online bros. 

Then, like the internet masochist I am, I went to the comments. Despite AskMen's vocally liberal tilt, I thought, "Oh, this is gonna be a disaster." I mean think about it: a website by men and for men. Sites like AskMen and BroBible are ruthlessly oozing in testosterone from football to memes wrapped up in big butts. They snatch their readers with photos of scantly clad women clutching svelte models that trigger internalized and unaddressed body image issues. 

Throw in an article about homosexuality, and insecurity is going to fly unchecked, right?

But that didn't happen. Long ago when internet comments became the anonymous playground for trolls, I wished someone would have invented an app that would allow you to opt-out from seeing the feed below every single article, forever. I'm glad I didn't, because I've noticed a trend in this, the last place you'd expect to find massive, unwavering, and unconditional support for the bros who bat left: sites catering excessively to men.

Maybe we're just not that threatening.

Beneath AskMen's Comes Out story was almost unanimous solidarity amongst all men gay or straight. With the exception of a very few, comments ranged from the simple, "gay or not he's my friend, grab a beer" to humorous reactions like, "get him to help me dress better." Some even shared their own heartfelt, personal accounts.

Even more astounding, every single negative comment was followed up by someone supporting the notion of the article and the friendships between all men, gay or straight. 

So where is this coming from, and why does it happen here, in the locker room of the internet? Why is social media and the comments sections that plague it chock full of rabid, anonymous homophobia affixed to some of the most benign coed articles, but here, on AskMen and BroBible, where dudes talk with dudes about dude stuff, tolerance and acceptance reign supreme?

It's been long assumed that male homophobia is an insecurity in most, that the most homophobic men feel that the very notion of two guys getting it on is somehow threatening to their masculinity. If that is truly the case, wouldn't it be most prevalent in a place catering almost exclusively to men, sites that flaunt this notion of masculinity? 

Perhaps it goes deeper, or maybe it's more dynamic. Maybe male homophobia is a byproduct of having a girl in the room. Maybe the homophobic men feel more inclined to display their masculinity through homophobia, one of the easiest and cheapest routes, when they feel they have something to prove. In a room full of men, men may be more inclined to showcase their character, whereas when they're around potential mates, more apt to display their animalistic dominance. 

Maybe. I'm not a sociologist. 

Or maybe AskMen and BroBible are just good sites read by good men.