Happy Holidays, Kirk Cameron

Hollywood comes at Christmas like a schizophrenic who just discovered some cocaine under a bag of weed. The biggest blockbusters are being released so as to be fresh on the minds of those in Academy  come time for the Oscars, right alongside Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever.

Yeah, that happened. 

But it's not the worst tediously predictable holiday movie this year. That title is reserved for Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas.

Certified dick hole and Jesus gal-pal, Mike Seaver, is fed up with the war on Christmas. 

Seriously, Cameron, where is this war on Christmas? As far as I can tell, Christmas began weeks before Halloween. That's more than two months, a rather decent fraction of the entire year. 

What more do you want?

Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas. I say Merry Christmas. But in the last few years, by the time December 25th rolls around, I'm so fucking sick of Christmas my single, 38 year old ass is aching for Valentine's Day to slap me in the face. 

If anyone's declared war on Christmas, it's Christmas.

So what if cashiers at Macy's say "Happy Holidays"? Their window displays prove that they certainly know what time of year it is. Washington landmarks - the very symbols of this nation - are decked out in the signs of the season. 

Well, Kirk Cameron still isn't satisfied. And thank God he's not, because it inspired him to make Saving Christmas, and the most accidental piece of Hollywood humor since the sequel to C.H.U.D. But the movie isn't the funny part. That's all on Cameron himself. With an apparent knowledge of how the internet works akin to his understanding of evolution, Cameron took to Facebook to encourage his fans to boost the movie's abysmal 36% Rotten Tomatoes rating.

After his plea? 8%.

Maybe he should have prayed harder. Or maybe it's because all of those who critiqued his movies are just evil. In Cameron's mind I'm guessing they're Jews and gays.

I swear, there is no bigger ass hole than an ass hole who doesn't know he's an ass hole. 

Happy Holidays, Kirk Cameron.

A Real Superhero

I know I talk quite a bit on here about being a better man, and a lot of that has to do with building a better body. Truth be told, I'm not superficial, and I'm certainly not suggesting that anyone should look like - or try to look like - Chris Evans. If you do, good job. Keep it up.

But as gay men, we deal with a lot. Despite an overwhelming flip in pubic acceptance, the struggle is still difficult and daily. It's easy to ignore the praise and internalize the hate. And that leads to problems. We seek out crutches. We drink. We do drugs. We're reckless. We overeat. We starve ourselves. We don't all become better men.

John Glaude, the viral video sensation of Obese to Beast offers some inadvertent insight into our insecurities with his own "My Biggest Insecurity." After shedding 160lbs and becoming relentlessly jacked, he was left with an unfortunate side effect of overcoming obesity: lots and lots of excess skin.

His message is absolutely inspiring and what he showed the world is stunning. Beautiful, even. As we as a nation grow so unhealthy that some believe the next generation will be the first not to outlive their parents, Glaude took charge of his life and he has the battle scars to prove it. 

He's a f*cking superhero in every sense of the word. He struggled and he overcame. And whether we're struggling with drug abuse, alcoholism, or weight problems, his message transcends all of us who struggle to be the best men we can be. 

If you found my site I'm sure you've seen the original video, so here's John Glaude's Thank You video to all of those who found inspiration in his journey.

Collateral Damage

In an unfortunate series of events, Philadelphia's Gayborhood neighborhood was delivered several hits in the last month. The former Letto Deli, a unique piece of 50s era Americana, was demolished. iCandy was faced with the suspension of its liquor license. And sadly, it seems, Westbury will be closing.

After a fire broke out in the Spruce Parker Hotel, the city shut it down. The Westbury, a popular gay bar, was caught in the cross fire. Without a second exit, the bar was shut down along with the hotel. 

The city has been looking for a reason to shut down the Parker for years. The hotel is a remnant of a city that no longer exists. Some call it a hostel, others a whore house.

It's by-the-day, -week, and -month rates harken us back to a time when cities were more than Carrie Bradshaw and Co. brunching with their trikes in toe. Cities were places of diversity...ugly, ugly diversity.

To be fair, the Parker has become a venue for prostitutes, drugs abuse, suicide, and other ill repute. But it was also a place for those struggling to make ends meet, newcomers, and rent hikes. The Parker represents the ugly diversity that self ascribed champions of sympathy love to love but refuse to talk about: hardship, crime, and homelessness.

As unfortunate as it is, the Westbury is collateral damage. But the Parker offered something unique: affordable housing in a city that still needs it.

For all that's been said of the Parker, I'd love to see someone rattle off the crime rates at 13th and Spruce relative to any other corner of Center City, even Rittenhouse. The Parker was a flea-bag hotel, sure, but that's all it was. It was as much a place of struggle as it was for insidious activity. 

People only want to see the worst in others.

Liberalism can be a blindly double edged sword. While many who proclaim themselves champions of cause pat themselves on the back for cleaning up their neighborhoods, they've ignored those they've displaced with nowhere to go. We liberals view community gardens as improvements, but turn a blind eye to those who strive for a warm meal from McDonald's.

What sickens me most about the Parker's closure isn't the building's closure, it's the hypocrisy behind the unofficial campaign to eradicate the occasional warm bed for those accustomed to sleeping on the street.

The Gayborhood of all places is Center City's last vestige of cause. We should know better than anyone. When a kid is thrown out of a suburban home for coming out to his parents, the Parker was a bed. Now he or she has a steam vent along Market East. 

Progress isn't measured in the superficiality of new condos and hotels, it's measured in compassion. The Parker may have been a den of inequity, but no one stopped to question why that den existed. Its drug abuse, prostitution, and suicides weren't products of the hotel, they were products of our society. Now that the Parker is gone, those atrocities won't vanish, they'll be relinquished to the streets where they'll be ignored. 

We shouldn't have been campaigning to close the Parker, we should have been campaigning to end the reason the Parker served a need. 

13th and Spruce may find itself with a new hotel, market rate apartments, or a vacant building. But erasing the Parker from Philadelphia did nothing for those who needed it. At best it traded a rare alternative to a homeless shelter for boutique hotel rooms. At worst, those who resided at the Parker will be living on the streets in exchange for an abandoned high-rise. 

Think about that, then pat yourself on the back. As so-called "progress" transforms American cities with upscale apartments and trendy cafes, is it any wonder that homelessness is on the rise?

Hidden History

If you live in Philadelphia, you might have noticed that #savelittlepetes is now a thing. 

As the block home to Little Pete's at 17th and Chancellor will likely be rezoned to accommodate a 12 story Hudson Hotel, the diner's days are numbered. 

However, unlike the 50s-era Letto Deli recently demolished at 13th and Chancellor, Little Pete's iconic 17th Street location is only iconic in its interior and signage, all of which could be moved to another location if management chooses to. 

It could even feasibly be reopened on the ground floor of the new hotel. 

But Bob Skiba, the Gayborhood Guru of Hidden City uncovered a bit of history that will be lost with this unassuming parking garage. Like Letto Deli's location on 13th, Little Pete's was once a Dewey's Famous Diner. While Dewey's on 13th tolerated the Gayborhood's largely LGBT clientele as far back as the 1960s, its 17th location barred "a large number of homosexuals...wearing non-conformist clothing."

Civil protests were certainly not unheard of in the 60s, but four years before the famous Stonewall Riots in New York City -  events that typically mark the beginning of the Gay Rights Movement - 150 men and women staged a protest at Dewey's on 17th in 1965.

That same year, another one of the nation's first gay rights rallies was held at Independence Hall. Known as the Annual Reminder, these pickets were held until 1969 when the movement was moved to Christopher Street in New York City to coincided with that year's Stonewall Riots.

While Dewey's is long gone, the location's significance may perhaps be stronger than ever given recent strides in LGBT rights and marriage equality. Philadelphia is home to a lot of "firsts" but I'd be willing to bet that quite a few, even those active in the LGBT rights movement, know just how integral a role the City of Brotherly love has played. 

Even today, despite conservative politics in Harrisburg and throughout the Commonwealth, Philadelphia continues to lead the nation in progressive policies. From Congressman Brian Sims to the ever vigilant Councilman Jim Kenney, both more concerned with doing what's right than playing politics, we continue to be a city that pushes towards the side of acceptance, even if it's unpopular. For the second year in a row, Philadelphia has tied for first place in LGBT equality.

While we have leaders to thank, like State Attorney Kathleen Kane who refused to defend an unconstitutional ban on gay marriage, we also have a loud and opinionated public that refuses to accept injustice even when it may not coincide with their personal beliefs.

Growing up in the South I'm well versed in the hypocrisy of a region known for its "hospitality." It may seem ironic that Philadelphia, a city reputably rude, would also be so tolerant and accepting. Perhaps its because hospitality and politeness are a farce and rarely have anything to do with recognizing what's just. Anyone who's participated in a protest or sit-in knows how true that is. 

And that's exactly why Dewey's Famous on 17th Street may play a role in history, but as a building, isn't deserved of preservation. 

Our rebellious roots were alive and well in 1965. Philadelphia is no stranger to architectural lost, but we've never lost our way. Little Pete's is just a diner and the Hudson Hotel is no one's civil enemy. Philadelphia is still - and will remain - a city that fights for what's right.

Being the Best Man You Can Be

When an old friend cracked a joke about something I did in college, I responded with, "oh please, I was 20, that was like...shit...almost 20 years ago!"

I'm well aware that I'm approaching 40 and I'm not lying when I say that I honestly don't care. If you're anything like me, you got all your anxiety over with when you realized that your favorite baseball player was a solid decade younger than you or that guy you checked out on Market Street could feasibly be your son.

I just shrug it of with, "Jennifer Aniston's 45 and still the hottest babe in Hollywood." 

The fact is, recognizing the reality of your age is far more attractive than clinging to your youth. Hairpieces, implants, and two cylinder roadsters are the things of midlife crises. They happen when you're slapped in the face with something you can't accept.

It's understandable. The reality of your forth decade can be frightening. Your risk of heart disease, various cancer, diabetes, and simply never being able to regain the health of your youth exponentially begin to increase. But you also start truly realizing the things you'll never experience.

But the good thing about recognizing your 40s is the recognition that it's not too late. I've begun considering my vices in a very real way, namely my weekly visits to the Gayborhood bars and an earnest effort to remain active even through Philadelphia's brutally impending winter. 

Booze didn't just stop being cute in your late 20s, it also taxes your health. But from smoking to drinking to drug abuse, the ills of our past can be reversed, especially if you catch it in time. Motivation is the only thing in your way. And like all things American: motivation is found on the silver screen and the boob tube. 

For me, it's some of the hottest men in their 40s. Sure, it may be superficial. Hollywood is not known for realistic role models. Women are routinely offered up unhealthy, even anorexic standards. That truly sucks. 

But for the most part, Hollywood's leading men are inspirational. And if we're willing to give up our vices and trade several hours of television every night for a gym, the inspiration is attainable.

So here they are...

1. Jason Statham

The "Poor Man's James Bond," or in my opinion, "The Hot James Bond" doesn't just keep it so tight he performs his own stunts, he's one of Hollywood's only leading men who makes bald sexy without completely shaving his head or resorting to hairpieces or hair plugs. There's no doubt the former model's body is the product of a lifetime of professional training, at 47 it's inspirational nevertheless. And if you think this British bad boy is just another Hollywood cliche, check out the U.K.'s Hummingbird, released as Redemption in the U.S. You'll get the Statham you've come to enjoy, but he'll also tug at your heartstrings exposing the ugly reality of substance abuse and homelessness.

2. Ryan Robbins

If you haven't watched Canada's Continuum or Sanctuary, you might not know who Ryan Robbins is. The 41 year old single father from British Columbia has been in entertainment since high school: singing, directing, even working in a circus. But the struggle was real, one that landed him homeless, living in a van. He overcame and succeeded, and has become a mainstay in numerous science fiction television shows. If "lumbersexual" is actually a thing, Robbins embodies it. 

3. Wentworth Miller

The baby faced, South African star of Prison Break is 42. With his blue eyes and a hairline any 25 year old would dream of, genetics were very kind to Miller. After drifting off the Hollywood radar for a few years, Miller charmed the public in 2013 with a heartfelt letter to the Saint Petersburg International Film Festival denouncing Russia's treatment of the LGBT community. He can now be seen in The Flash as Captain Cold.

4. Gerard Butler

Gerard Butler drove us wild with his airbrushed abs in 300. But it was't all smoke and mirrors. The production's training routine required Butler to maximize his physique. Despite 300's subtly anti-gay themes, its homoerotic overtones had everyone asking, "who is this guy and where has he been?!" Well, before 300, mostly in the U.K. Like Jason Statham, Butler is another great actor who's graced us from across the pond. Along with his success as a movie star, he's proven what someone struggling with alcoholism and drug abuse can overcome at 45.

5. Rob Thomas

You might think Rob Thomas is a douche bag. But his reputation as a mainstream pop star is a product of the simple fact that he's just so good at writing, composing, and singing music that millions of people enjoy. But he's also a pretty damn good guy. Way back in 2009 when the gay marriage movement was just beginning to generate the momentum it's now enjoying, Thomas posted an article on the Huffington Post called The Big Gay Chip on my Shoulder. With absolutely no pressure to join the gay rights movement, he decided to react to some ugly Twitter comments in the most beautiful way possible. He's not just hot at 41, he's also on our side.

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I'm going to leave it at that. RMDS isn't BuzzFeed and I think listicles (that's apparently a word) are kind of stupid. I just wanted to delve briefly into the notion that 40 isn't old, although I fully understand that my compulsion to write a post about it only proves that it isn't young. 

But you know what? It isn't, and that's okay. 

The point is, whatever your place in life, it's never too late to be the best man you can be. For me, that point is now, two years from my 40th birthday. But for others it may not be a number, just a hurdle. 

Don't ever accept an inevitability. If you're struggling with substance abuse, you can find a healthy alternative. If your parents are diabetic, no genetics prove you have to be. If you're overweight, you can still find yourself in the fittest skin you've ever known. 

You are not your parents, your society, or anyone's expectations but your own. No one dictates your choices but yourself. The moment your life's next act is staring you in the face, know it's not an obstacle but a challenge, and charge at it headfirst. When you resolve to be the best man you can be, you feel like a superhero. It consumes you and it's beautiful.

#becauseflorida

"#becauseflorida" might be one of the most entertaining hashtags to come out of social media. From a woman stealing a liquor bottle in her vagina to typical Spring Break stories, Florida provides an endless supply of humor at its own expense. 

But it's also a uniquely divisive place. Politically, South Florida is largely liberal while the rest of the state falls staunchly in line with the Bible Belt. Where heads butt, people scream the loudest, and lately Florida's civil servants have proven just how bull headed and irrational they can be.

Digging their heels deep in the sand, Governor Rick Scott and State Attorney General Pam Bondi have proven their insistence to stand on the side of hateful discrimination despite a national inevitability. History books will record them as the bigots that they are.

But their lesser known followers will simply be painted as passive aggressive thorns in a nearly defunct movement to stymy progress by making it difficult to deal with the bureaucratic process.

Scott and Daniel Wall-Desousa were married in New York. Like most married couples, they used their marriage license to change their names on all their legal documents. But Florida, being #becauseflorida, decided it would "indefinitely" cancel their drivers licenses that were printed with their hyphenated last name. 

Despite the fact that the federal government issued them new social security cards, the Florida DMV apparently pulled rank. Why? Well it doesn't really make sense. People change their names all the time. Whether the couple used their New York marriage license or their social security cards to acquire a new license from the Florida DMV, it in no way means that their marriage is recognized by the state of Florida.

The Florida DMV may just be bowing to a technicality. But the fact that their drivers licenses were issued in the first place means that some busy-body went through a lot of trouble to put up a red flag. In an effort to just be a horrible person, someone simply wanted to make their experience at the DMV, one that's rarely friendly or smooth, infuriatingly frustrating.

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend

That statement has probably brought more people together and ended more wars than any protest, advocacy, or humanitarian effort.

Why? 

Because humans are messy. We're saddled with the unique ability to reason with absolutely no reason to use it. Humanity is stuck in an evolutionary hiccup, somewhere between where we've been and where we're headed. Those before us maintained a harmoniously chaotic balance, and barring any extraterrestrial variables - asteroids, comets - life would have continued to simply exist and not much more. 

As soon as the first homosapien discovered that unique ability and fashioned a spear, the planet changed. Agriculture led to societies, societies led to nations, and nations led to culture. And with culture came a flood of questions followed by a drought of answers. How do you answer the unanswerable? Religion.

Nothing has simultaneously united and divided people like the quest to answer that which the human mind can't comprehend, and abstract ideas like gods and blind faith were set up to fail.

Unfortunately, stuck in evolution's hiccup, we're still dry heaving explanations for the unexplainable. We will never know where we come from. But discontent with the absence of answers, we discard reason for the ugly, irrational traits of the human mind.

But that's where our enemies come in handy. The messiness of idle humanity takes a streamlined turn when faced with absolute insanity. As irrational as we are in our spiritual beliefs, we can become extremely rational when faced with things that any sane person knows is complete bullshit.

I certainly don't want to give the haters any credit, at least not the credit they want. Organizations like the Westboro Baptist Church are comprised of pure evil. And I understand the irony in the term "evil" considering what I just said, but I'm a flawed human like the rest of us. 

Still, as hateful as the hate mongers are, they inadvertently unite the rational people, those willing to entertain reason every once in a while. Protesting the funerals of fallen soldiers with signs reading "GOD HATES FAGS" does nothing for a hate monger's cause. It's a disgustingly disrespectful act and causes nothing but pain when it's inflicted. But in the aftermath of these atrocious events, it forces those fortunate enough to live free of persecution to understand what it's like to face bigotry for a day. 

The Westboro Baptist Church and other hate groups have a sole target: Humanity. And in doing so they turn the world into a united minority group fighting for a common goal: To live free from hate.

Of course examples of this behavior are not always as painful as the slurs cast by Fred Phelps and his cohorts. Sometimes it makes us step back, cock our heads to the side, and laugh. Pastor James David Manning of the Harlem's ATLAH Worldwide Missionary Church recently claimed that Starbucks was adding "male semen" to its lattes, apparently in an effort to attract "upscaled sodomites."

Pastor Manning

Manning has his share of followers and comments like this get paraded across social media. But it's almost unfortunate that anyone, especially legitimate advocacy organizations, actually entertain these comments in any serious context, because the vast majority of those reading the overuse of the redundant phrase "male semen" are likely getting a good laugh. That includes thousands upon thousands of straight men and women who might finally be thinking, "this anti-gay shit is getting ridiculous." 

Insulting the general public might be the best avenue for humans to revisit their unique ability to reason. There will always be unreasonable people and, if they're just insane enough, I say let them sing. Their audience - the world - is turning their hate into our love and bringing us together. There might not be anything more beautiful than that.

Hollaback: Junk Science

By now you've probably seen the viral Hollaback video. Rob Bliss Creative hired an attractive female actress to walk around New York City for ten hours, secretly filming her. What was found was disturbing, if not sadly expected. In the short two minute video, the woman was harassed with catcalls and whistles a staggering hundred times and counting. 

It's unsettling, upsetting, and exposes just how inconsiderate men can be towards women, even in public. Basically, it's everything a viral video should be, right down to the soundtrack.

There's just one problem. The social experiment isn't just flawed, it technically isn't even an experiment.

I've resisted writing about the Hollaback video for two reasons. One, the science behind true experiments, social or otherwise, is dry. That's why viral videos masquerade behind junk science. No one wants to read about hypotheses and scientific methodology, and video bloggers can't take the time to scrap their experiments when confounding variables arise. 

You're yawning now, and that's why science doesn't sell.

But more importantly, I simply didn't want to criticize a video that has led to even more online harassment well beyond a ten hour walk around New York City. If being catcalled isn't inconsiderate enough, death threats are surely terrifying.

Unfortunately, with an internet full of fly-by-night "social studies," it's hard to criticize anything that attempts to expose harassment without sounding like harassment itself. Zeynep Tufekci of medium.com did a fine job of explaining the flaws in Rob Bliss's experiment without downplaying the harassment that exists. 

However good intentioned, these experiments are social irresponsible, painfully evident in the backlash the video and its' actress have received. Social experiments are important, and one on street harassment can have merit. But it's important, especially when dealing with sensitive issues and your subjects' safety, to be vigilant in how these experiments are performed. And to be prepared to prove that the science behind your experiment holds water.

But the sensitivity targeted by these experiments is the problem. Science and conscience don't mix. Experiments like Hollaback attempt to instill sympathy and outrage, but there is no place for passion in scientific experiments. Science is blind and sometimes exposes ugly truths about humanity, and not always where it's hypothesized. 

Perhaps more scientifically interesting than the 100+ catcalls is the underlying reason Rob Bliss chose to spend more than 50% of the experiment in predominantly African American neighborhoods. Rob Bliss went into his own experiment to prove a prejudice against women, only to expose his own prejudices.

Rose McGowan Has a Bad Day

No one can truthfully carpet bomb an entire demographic with one statement, but we sure do try. It's usually understood with an "I get what you're saying" nod. But if you're a celebrity and you happen to utter what everyone's thinking, ready the spin room.

When someone says, "gay men are sluts," 99% of us know it's technically not true because the statement implies all gay men are sluts. But the other 99% have probably made this comment. Are we stereotyping? Generalizing? Or just ranting in frustration? All of the above.

So why do we take to the internet like an army of passive aggressive activists anytime a blanket statement is made against us, or any demographic for that matter? Are we offended? Or does it guiltily remind us of all the times we've blasted an entire demographic, or the world, in frustration?

According to the Advocate, actress Rose McGowan "blasted the gay community." What exactly did she say? "Gay men are as misogynistic as straight men, if not more so," going on to say that "right now" she is really upset with the gay community.

That's a broad claim. Without additional insight, it's easy for the media to latch onto the comments and run her through the bigot mill. But common sense asks, "Did McGowan have a bad run in with a gay guy recently?" We all say things in frustration, and frustration is never rational. 

Can gay men be just as misogynistic as straight men? Some can, sure. Her comment is just as insulting to straight men in that she implies the insidious all. Of course as minorities, we fixate on generalizations despite the fact that anytime someone says they've "lost faith in humanity," they're referring to every race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and generally evolved neanderthal.

Being in a minority, we not only take generalizations personally, but we have to answer for them. When someone asks, "Why are gays so militant?," we have to qualify the question with the word some. But all too often we ignore the implied semantics of casual vernacular and head straight for the jugular. Good job, Advocate, your readers now think that Rose McGowan is leading an army of 90s clad Jawbreakers for the gay gates of San Francisco.

Think, people.

Rose McGowan had a bad day. How many times have you been bumped at brunch by a group of girls in leggings and riding boots and thought, "basic bitches?" McGowan made a statement, one that actually has more merit than the gay media is willing to address: We are just as misogynistic as straight men.

Not only are we men with no, or little, sexual interest in the fairer sex, but as a minority, we are somehow granted a pass. That makes a combination ripe for snide remarks. If you are honestly offended by McGowan's comments, you better be prepared to put your friends in check next time they call a girl a "slut" for wearing the same dress you wore last Friday.

Judging by the comments piling up on social media, it sounds like the Advocate has done a fine job proving her point.