The article was a swift reaction to Haynes' broadly sweeping social media presence, and specifically a comment he made in which he rhetorically questioned his own "secret gay past." It gave a lot of gay fans hope, crushed the dreams of CW fangirls, and drove social media insane. And it maddened them even more when he failed to provide a followup.
But it wasn't a failure, not then, and not today with Haynes "officially" out of the closet.
The failure is in the need to officiate every celebrity's lavender debutante, and how the media singles out specific individuals in an effort to expose very real prejudice within the Hollywood image machine.
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| Colton Haynes and Arrow co-star Emily Bett Richards |
In January, many assumed Haynes was simply being coy, humorously interacting with his fans on social media in a way that's gained him more than four million Instagram followers. Others assumed that he was playing the Hollywood game, towing the line between gay and straight to keep his fans wondering. Still others - perhaps the most optimistic - were hoping that Haynes was the harbinger of an equal Hollywood, one in which it finally, truly, didn't matter to him, or anyone else, who was gay.
As it turns out, none were the case. If he was playing games, he would have run with the massive publicity and gone after bigger and better roles. Instead, he vanished from the screen.
Taking time off, Haynes spoke with Entertainment Weekly's Marc Snetiker this week about his comments in January, the headaches they generated, and joined the ranks of Hollywood hunks who have officially come out of the closet. And as it turns out, Haynes' story and the reasons behind his vague comments are too rarely explored by those covering entertainment news for magazines like the Advocate.
When Peeples' article ran back in January, it reeked of an aging mentality that implies celebrities have a responsibility to their communities. Like Perez Hilton's demands masked by apparent professional journalistic integrity, Peeles wasn't making a new argument. To him and the Advocate, actors like Haynes owe their communities more than their art or their jobs.
Actors are held to an unrealistic level of responsibility, particularly famous ones. We look at their lives, their parties, their Instagrams, and envision a utopia flushed with cash and demand that they be the people we want them to be. When we read Haynes' comments on Tumblr, see his campy costumes on Instagram, and watch him interact with his co-stars, there isn't a seasoned gay amongst us who doesn't know that this is a gay man. But that doesn't matter.
To us, the choice is simple: just come out already.
But to us, we're coming out to family and friends, and maybe a Facebook following of a few hundred. To celebrities, many of whom are out to family and friends, coming out is an anxiety inducing spectacle fraught with hateful social media comments, disappointment from fans, and even the praise that comes with it can be overwhelming. We don't just demand they come out, we demand they do it perfectly.
From Ricky Martin to Lance Bass to Sean Hayes - all faced with tabloid-style pressure from the likes of the Advocate - no gay man has ever had the perfect coming out story in Hollywood. Whether it's orchestrated or incidental, the LGBT community is fiercely opinionated and obnoxiously critical. We criticize these strangers for being in the closet. Then when they do, we lambast them for not doing it sooner.
Does anyone really need to ask why gay men in Hollywood are closeted?
We demand the press release, we get it, then we bitch about it. In fact, the most redeemable coming out stories are often the most imperfect: Neil Patrick Harris comes to mind, and perhaps now, Colton Haynes. Those are the ones that truly resonate with us civilians.
Many actors lead two lives, not as a means to deceive fans, but as a means to cope with the fandom. Their careers spill over into this second personality and they become a public character, one they begrudgingly drag home and continue acting out for months on end.
For Haynes, one of the few celebrities known for interacting with his fans on social media - actually talking to them directly - those worlds likely become blurred. His character isn't talking to his fans on Tumblr, Colton Haynes the dude from Kansas is. It's not surprising that so many of his eccentric Halloween costumes involve complete disguises. In a world where we completely disregard the privacy of even our most benign and unknown celebrities, slipping into a full body Ursula costume must be a great way to escape into a night out on the town.
Peeples thanked Haynes on Twitter for his bravery, but his words and expectations remain. Haynes has opened up about his anxiety and the pressures of Hollywood over the past few months, and his decision to take a break from fame. The words in his latest EW interview aren't those of a cynical or seasoned celebrity, one with a meticulously groomed public persona, but those of a very real person who takes his expectations and the opinions of his fans very seriously. In many ways, this is refreshing, and hopefully the resurgence of interest in his personal life won't sculpt another two-dimensional Hollywood personality.
The problem was never with Colton Haynes "not quite 'coming out'," and it wasn't simply that we expected him too or felt he owed it to his fans. The problem is that we refuse to understand that celebrities are human beings with the very same DNA that makes us terrified to come out to family and friends. The problem is that we paint these people into a corner, pressure them to adopt a public persona and issue a press release. The problem is our entitled expectations take very real people and push them to become a character we want them to be, rather than accept them for the flawed humans that they are.
Haynes is gay, and has been out nearly his entire life to his family, friends, and coworkers. Luckily for him, he has a very strong base to lean on as the public screams, cries, and speculates in the coming weeks. For others, the pressure can be scarier, and our good intentions can have horrible consequences. We all know how hard it is to be closeted gay men, and many of us know how crushing the pressure of our mundane lives can be. Haynes sounds like a very thoughtful person, and on the shoulders of a weaker man, the words from our own advocates could pressure our should-be heroes into dire scenarios involving drugs, alcohol, or worse.
Peeples' words and the Advocate have a place in our community, and the message in Peeples' article has its merit, as long as it maintains a narrative of Hollywood in general. But singling out individuals, however famous, that may or may not be "one of us" isn't just irresponsible, it's dangerous. How many favorites have we lost to addiction and suicide, and how many of those were lost to the pressures we heaped upon them?
If Hollywood has a problem with gay men, let's talk about Hollywood's problem. Colton Haynes is a talented actor and a refreshingly honest voice in a cynical world. If we should be singling him out for anything, it should be for being the perfectly flawed man many of us aspire to be, and for having the patience with us that we should all have with our Hollywood heroes. From Kansas to Los Angeles, Haynes' life thus far is that of a true superhero.
