The Unreal Oneal

Get ready for the Reid-Bynes-Lohan School of Hollywood Hard Knocks, kid. In a recent Vulture article, The Real O'Neals lead Noah Galvin levied a curse-laden slew of insults at Colton Haynes, director Bryan Singer, and Modern Family's Eric Stonestreet. 

It sounds like he really took playing a young Dan Savage to heart.

He called Haynes coming out, "fucking pussy bullshit," said Bryan Singer "likes to invite little boys over to his pool and diddle them," and slammed Stonestreet's role in Modern Family as a caricature. Somewhere within his rant, he managed to slip in a backdoor brag about a confused guest-star hitting on him.

Sounds like a catch, right? 

In each of these cases, he could have made a point. He could have said that his own coming out story was much simpler than Haynes', and that both of them are making it easier for aspiring gay actors. He could have referred to Singer's controversial lawsuits without resorting to slander. And he could have respectfully criticized Stonestreet's performance as an older gay man, while admitting a lack of understanding for the generation Stonestreet represents. 

But he's a kid in Hollywood, and a green one at that. The Real O'Neals is his first major role, with small credits dating back only three years. Gay or straight, he's not the first Hollywood rookie to dive into the spotlight without considering the backlash. Let's face it, he thought he was being funny. Few gay men amongst us didn't resort to nastiness to land a laugh in our teens and early 20s. 

But it wasn't funny, it was just mean. 

The backlash hasn't hit, and who knows if it will. Galvin's words were so extreme and off-the-cuff, his co-stars - even Dan Savage - may not know how to respond. Those he insulted may have taken his belligerence into consideration and decided to avoid a potential Twitter war.

I hope Martha Plimpton is as much a mother on the set as she is in character. If anyone understands the double-edged sword of fame, she does. As a member of the Carradine family, I'm sure she's learned a thing or two about what can be said - and shouldn't be said - in the public eye. She's likely got some tough love for him next time they're on the set together. 

The "I know best" mantra of the early 20-something is nothing new, and certainly not exclusive to gay men. It's also never been an attractive trait. Perhaps had his rants been aimed at his peers - gay men who were already out when they landed their first gig - it might have been better received, or at least excused as a youthful indiscretion. 

Ugly Betty's Mark Indelicato comes to mind, and at least one from the cast of Glee. But the uplifting coming out stories and incidental transitions of his peers don't trend, and they don't fit the nasty narrative Galvin is confusing with humor. Hollywood politics aside, that's what this is about, and that's what's so sad. 

He's claiming to buck the trend of clichés by playing right into them. His humor only has ground in negativity, a pessimism that can't even appreciate how lucky he is. What's more cliché than "the bitchy queen" - critical of everything and everyone - without relating any of it back to himself?

Like Haynes or Singer, Galvin has no professional obligation to his community, a point he hypocritically made shortly after bashing them for lacking in their obligation to their community. 

But that doesn't change the public's perception. Had a straight actor new to the scene made these comments, the public would brush it off as a kid being a kid. But this kid's gay, and on ABC, a network as new to the gay world as himself. To many fans of The Real Oneals, Catholic families who've grown to identify with its lovable characters, Galvin's comments are laced with the notion that gay men might all be this nasty. He may not have an obligation to address that, but I think he's about to be introduced to an unfair world in which he soon realizes he should.

*UPDATE

Queue the apology in 3...2...1...

Variety

Wow, that was fast.

To be fair, his apology sounds as earnest as it gets, particularly understanding how new he is to Hollywood. He let fame go to his head, and he got carried away. I still can't help but picture a stern Martha Plimpton fresh to the set, "So, you learn your lesson, kid?"

Why Max Blum is the Best Gay Character You Don't Know

If you're reading this you might not know who Max Blum is. That's a shame, because ABC's Happy Endings isn't just the funniest show you're not watching, it's home to the most refreshing gay man on television since Jack Tripper pretended to be one in Three's Company.

Max is slovenly, loosely employed, a little chunky, and he doesn’t care. In fact, on paper it's easy to assume Max (played by Adam Pally) is creator David Caspe's attempt to provide a gay character whose sexuality ends with the fact that he happens to be gay.

Whenever I watch Modern Family or The New Normal, it's entertaining, but I see a show full of novelty produced by calculated market research that gives the audience the same dated jokes we've been fed since Will & Grace. It's nice that Hollywood isn't afraid of homosexuality, but it's even nicer that Caspe's Happy Endings isn't afraid of actual homosexuals.

 

Max's presence on Happy Endings goes well beyond tokenism. If Caspe only wanted to create a gay character that straight men can relate to, he's unwittingly given a voice to a bunch of gay men who struggle to find a place in a community of very high expectations.

Adam Pally as Happy Endings' Max Blum

 

Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful that so many sitcoms have provided dynamic gay cast members and don't shy away from sexuality and conflict. Since Ellen came out of the prime time closet and Will & Grace swept the Emmys, gay characters have thrived as open and integral parts of Hollywood's success, and it's made an undeniable impact on society. That's important.

 

Portraying gay characters in a positive light is responsible, and in many cases - Modern Family, The New Normal, Will & Grace - the relatable gay characters are exceedingly successful. However, in each of those cases, the “straight man” (characteristically speaking) is paired with an eccentric stereotype.

 

This makes sense. After all, the eccentric stereotype is hilarious. But this approach is also the safest way to portray edgy content. Namely, it isn't threatening. Homer Simpson once said exactly what Hollywood thinks of its straight male audience: “I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaaaaming.”

The formula works. Will & Grace was wildly successful before gays could kiss on TV, and Modern Family and Glee are being lauded as pioneers by gay advocates. But they target an audience that's used to us. Happy Endings is the first show to offer the “bro” crowd a gay character who isn't offensive and two dimensional. Max is the gay bro they can relate to.
 

The entire cast doesn't concern themselves with misconceptions. Instead of selling his straight audience short, Caspe gives the urban straight man what he's already experienced. The truth is, most guys don't care if their gay friends are successful, effeminate, slovenly, or poor. They care that they're loyal friends.

 

Happy Endings frequently pokes fun at our expectations about sexuality, race, and gender, often by ignoring these expectations altogether. It's grounded in exaggerations, word play, and no stranger to cheap shots, but even when a stereotype finds his way on screen, he still manages to be endearing.

 

This ensemble isn't for everyone, and while a lot of many gay men may cringe at Max's behavior, much of that reaction is conditioned by misconceptions about our own community. We're not all lawyers and doctors or theatrical stereotypes, and a lot of us are perfectly okay with that. In a new Hollywood in love with its gay characters, it's refreshing to see another layer to our very diverse community.