Russia's Growing Pains

While the United States does not yet wholly support gay rights, with plenty of vocal and downright viscous opposition from extremely conservative minorities, the United States has come a long way in the past thirty years.

Despite criticism from other, more liberal western countries the size of Michigan, the United States will always struggle with tolerance being the diverse grab bag of opinionated nonsense that our people tend to be.
 
It's easy criticism, and easy to overlook the fact that legalization of gay marriage in any European country isn't comparable to our inevitable legalization of the same. The fact that 17 American states will marry same sex couples, and our federal government recognizes it as well, is a feat unlike any other.

We're the world's biggest melting pot of nut jobs, or more sympathetically, cultural diversity. Getting just one state to agree to legalize something that prompted parental discretion disclaimers in 1990 is an unparalleled accomplishment.

As each American state decides whether to legalize or outlaw gay marriage based on its government's interpretation of the Constitution, some European nations have legalized gay marriage despite overwhelming opposition.

Each state may not recognize gay marriage, but it says more that over half of our citizens support gay marriage than it does that France nationally legalized gay marriage despite the fact that almost 30% of its citizens say they wouldn't even want to live next door to a gay couple.

Of course I'm certainly not saying that the legalization of gay marriage in France is a bad thing, just as it won't be bad when the feds finally step in and force our lingering Hate States to do the same. Minorities need to be protected for the very fact that they're minorities. They'll always be enough bigots hiding in pockets of any country to vote away their neighbors' rights.

The United States is starting to look a little less like we're late to the party and a little more like just another big gay fruit basket. 

However Russia, once on the verge of becoming a major ally after a very long war is quickly distancing itself from the western culture its citizens briefly and radically embraced. Maybe they wouldn't be so cranky if they hadn't kicked off democracy by opening a McDonald's.

Russia is working on a slew of barbaric laws criminalizing homosexual "propaganda," bills expected to pass in the upper houses and signed into law by President Vladamir Putin. Although Russia decriminalized homosexuality shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall, the new bill will criminalize anyone promoting a lifestyle not conducive to procreation.

This is stirring up emotions in Russia's increasingly "out" population, but also sparking concern among Olympians set to perform in the 2014 Winter Games to be held in Sochi, Russia. The new laws will allow the government to arrest and detain foreigners they perceive to be promoting a homosexual lifestyle, and in the wake of public "It Gets Better" videos, Olympic coming out stories, and supportive friends and family, advocates that have made their opinion public on YouTube are understandably queasy about heading to Russia in six months.

It's also concerning that Russia's track record in the Olympics can be most politely described as "nationalistic," while many might call the country's sportsmanship downright poor. I'm not suggesting that Russia would detain any Olympians on the grounds of their sexuality to give their own athletes leg up, but I wouldn't put their Olympic officials above harassment or intimidation either.

Among other laws that Russia has proposed to discourage homosexuality, Russia will also be prohibiting the adoption of Russian children in any country that recognizes gay marriage, even if that child would be going to a straight couple in an American state that doesn't recognize gay marriage.

Of course all this might be perfectly timed to united Americans, even conservatives, against a common enemy of tolerance. After all, a lot of Americans opposed to gay marriage don't want to be on the side of outright bigotry. These archaic laws being handed down by a country many Americans once viewed as a rather reasonable peer might just show a lot of conservative Americans just how petty they're being.

It's just unfortunate that after thirty years of democracy, many Russians seem fed up with trying to accept opinions that they'd rather see subjugated behind an Iron Curtain.

It's sad, but I guess not so surprising. The nation shuttered its people from the world for about forty years. They dove into a capitalistic democracy headfirst with a midcentury understanding of what it meant. They were expecting I Love Lucy and got Will & Grace.

Getting many Russians to tolerate the 21st Century is like asking Grover Cleveland to pull up his Netflix queue on an iPad.

Half of them are cynical Ayn Rands who view anything counter productive as waste, like homosexuality. The other half have been squashed by the upper class and blame their poverty on western influences, like homosexuality. While the few in the middle, those who actually explored the world with an open mind, are trapped in the middle.

West Hollywood nightclubs are boycotting Russian vodka to protest these laws, but it might not end at the bar. Is a national Olympic boycott unrealistic? Keep in mind, the last time Russia hosted the Olympic Games in 1980, twenty nine countries competed in the American-led Olympic Boycott Games, or Liberty Bell Classic, in Philadelphia.

Florida: The New Old South

I don't have to say anything about the George Zimmerman trial. If you don't know what it was all about you probably aren't reading this. So I'm simply going to point to Florida's recent track record as America's segregated water fountain.

Unfortunately the back of the bus is nothing compared to what Florida's District Attorneys and jurors have been throwing at its state's minorities this year.

16 year old Kiera Wilmot was arrested for felony misconduct when a science experiment blew the lid off a water bottle, a charge that could have potentially landed her in prison as a domestic terrorist. The same District Attorney declined to file any charges when a nearby boy accidentally shot and killed his younger brother.

Kiera is black, the boy who shot his brother, not.

High school student Kaitlyn Hunt was arrested for child abuse when she continued a long term relationship with a freshman after turning 18 while countless other Florida high school students continue their relationships with underclass students long after graduation. Kaitlyn faces potential prison time and registering as a sex offender.

Kaitlyn was dating a girl.

George Zimmerman was cleared of all charges for killing Treyvon Martin in what he claims was self defense while Jacksonville's Marissa Alexander was sentenced to twenty years in prison after firing warning shots in her own home against her abusive husband, a man she had a protective order against. Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law states a victim of a crime is allowed to immediately retaliate in defense, and was used to help Zimmerman's defense clear him of all charges. Alexander used it in her defense to no avail.

Marissa Alexander is black.

Welcome to Florida: "You got your rights, now don't step out of line."

Fighting Prejudice with Prejudice

I always found bachelorette parties annoying, especially in gay bars. But then I inadvertently wound up in my sister's party and we found our way to Aqua Grill in Rehoboth Beach, DE. Finding myself on the receiving end of a reactionary double standard our own community created, and witnessing the aftermath of being asked to leave really disappointed me.

Not only did Delaware recently legalize gay marriage, but federal equality is recognized there as well...both situations that every woman (and gay man) in this party was well aware of. So how is this a slap in the face?

Plus, it's a beach bar, not a local, windowless tavern populated by curmudgeons that use their local watering holes like gay community centers. In fact, if you're that insecure about your sexuality, you probably shouldn't be seeking out a bar to cope.

 

You don't fight prejudice with prejudice.

 

Luckily each of these women was understanding and has been a long time ally of our community and no sour experience will spoil that.

What's astonishing is just how inconsiderate this attitude is. Sure, these parties can be a bit annoying, but it's a once in a lifetime celebration. While expelling these parties might quell the insecurity of the few annoyed by their very presence, salvaging the evening for a handful of gay men unable to turn the other cheek leaves a lasting impression on a group celebrating an event that they will likely never experience again and  will remember for the rest of their lives.

Of course none of this bigotry compares to the blatant statement from the manager that the bar caters to men, and that he waited to say something to us at first because three me were in our party. I know this is common in our "gay bars," but it's also 2013. I'm dumfounded that misogyny prevails in the gay male community.

 

In fact, given the reaction from straight men throughout the night, the sexism on the part of Aqua far exceeds anything I saw all night.

Bars in Delaware aren't allowed to ask gay men to leave, how does it do ourselves any favors to expressly discourage an entire gender from our public establishments?

 

Aqua needs to update its website, which clearly states, "Aqua Grill is a gay-owned and operated establishment, but welcomes everyone and features an eclectic mix of avid party-goers, locals, adoring fans and weekly tourists."

 

All American Boy

The latest YouTube sensation is young, hot, gay, and...country. Steve Grand's self funded video for All American Boy blew up the social media today, garnering an outpouring of support from around the world.

Surprisingly though, reaction within our own community was mixed.

Grand was no star. He had no agent, no manager, no record label, and risked the $7000 he scraped together to produce a video and post it on the internet.

The video follows the friendship of two men, one gay, one straight, each balancing the frustrations that come with having a crush on a friend, and wanting to just be friends.

Were it a girl and a boy, it would have been just another cliché Taylor Swift video.

Unfortunately some of the reaction within the gay community proved that we can occasionally be our own worst enemy. While some reactions sympathized with the excitement that comes with the fantasy of lusting over a straight guy, some were downright visceral, claiming the video called gays "sad, predatory drunks."

Neither do the video justice and both speak from cynicism and segregated isolation.

Ironically those calling Grand's video a self loathing glutton for gay bashing are confusing openness with integration and acceptance. The best thing about this video is it steps outside the polarizing gay-only world most of us feel we have to subscribe to and hands us a fictional scenario where no one gives a shit.

We should all be so lucky.

Mark S. King, blogger for The Bilerico Project attempts to defend the gay community buy using every negative stereotype to his advantage, neglecting to identify with a growing trend amongst straight millennials who view their gay brethren as equals.

One sad fact about the gay community may prove to be our own silver lining. The truth is, as a community we have nothing innately in common with each other but our attraction to our own gender.

Divergent sexual orientation doesn't choose a race, religion, ethnicity, or nationality. It happens to everyone. The sad fact is that a minority only bound by those we choose to love strives for acceptance by resorting to cold, political strategy, when all we really need to do is show the rest of the world we're just like them.

We crush. We reject. We face rejection.

Just like everyone else.

The brilliance in Grand's video lies within it's simplicity. It speaks from the heart, not the podium. As gays and lesbians continue to gain acceptance the lines between straight and gay can and should blur.

His portrayal of a boyhood crush might not be realistic yet, but it's what we should hope for. We've all rejected and been rejected. Grand's video turns our expectations upside down by replacing the benign rejection of "you're not my type" with sexual orientation by ignoring the false notion that it should be any different.

That's a good thing.

Reacting to the outpouring of support from both his gay and straight audience, Grand stated, "I would die a happy man today...and it's the first time in my entire life I can say that." Instead of seeking support from our own ugly stereotypes, let's enjoy the fact that we too can say the same.