I always found bachelorette parties annoying, especially in gay bars. But then I inadvertently wound up in my sister's party and we found our way to Aqua Grill in Rehoboth Beach, DE. Finding myself on the receiving end of a reactionary double standard our own community created, and witnessing the aftermath of being asked to leave really disappointed me. Not only did Delaware recently legalize gay marriage, but federal equality is recognized there as well...both situations that every woman (and gay man) in this party was well aware of. So how is this a slap in the face?
Plus, it's a beach bar, not a local, windowless tavern populated by curmudgeons that use their local watering holes like gay community centers. In fact, if you're that insecure about your sexuality, you probably shouldn't be seeking out a bar to cope.
You don't fight prejudice with prejudice.
Luckily each of these women was understanding and has been a long time ally of our community and no sour experience will spoil that.
What's astonishing is just how inconsiderate this attitude is. Sure, these parties can be a bit annoying, but it's a once in a lifetime celebration. While expelling these parties might quell the insecurity of the few annoyed by their very presence, salvaging the evening for a handful of gay men unable to turn the other cheek leaves a lasting impression on a group celebrating an event that they will likely never experience again and will remember for the rest of their lives.
Of course none of this bigotry compares to the blatant statement from the manager that the bar caters to men, and that he waited to say something to us at first because three me were in our party. I know this is common in our "gay bars," but it's also 2013. I'm dumfounded that misogyny prevails in the gay male community.
What's astonishing is just how inconsiderate this attitude is. Sure, these parties can be a bit annoying, but it's a once in a lifetime celebration. While expelling these parties might quell the insecurity of the few annoyed by their very presence, salvaging the evening for a handful of gay men unable to turn the other cheek leaves a lasting impression on a group celebrating an event that they will likely never experience again and will remember for the rest of their lives.
Of course none of this bigotry compares to the blatant statement from the manager that the bar caters to men, and that he waited to say something to us at first because three me were in our party. I know this is common in our "gay bars," but it's also 2013. I'm dumfounded that misogyny prevails in the gay male community.
In fact, given the reaction from straight men throughout the night, the sexism on the part of Aqua far exceeds anything I saw all night.
Bars in Delaware aren't allowed to ask gay men to leave, how does it do ourselves any favors to expressly discourage an entire gender from our public establishments?
Bars in Delaware aren't allowed to ask gay men to leave, how does it do ourselves any favors to expressly discourage an entire gender from our public establishments?
Aqua needs to update its website, which clearly states, "Aqua Grill is a gay-owned and operated establishment, but welcomes everyone and features an eclectic mix of avid party-goers, locals, adoring fans and weekly tourists."
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