The Big Gay Marriage Farce

Growing up I only vaguely remember hearing about the gay rights movement, at least until college. As a Gen Xer, Ellen's coming out story was ground breaking and her ongoing success blows my mind despite the headway the gay community has made in recent years.

 

Still, that headway itself is sometimes frustrating.

 

Maybe it's frustrating simply because of my age. Unlike many before me, I came out in college and enjoyed much of my youth being myself. But unlike the Millennials after me, much of my youth felt like part of a secret society, a private club that didn't only embrace the gay community, but all societal misfits.

 

Take that, Society.

 

While society has changed largely for the better, it's hard not to fondly reminisce about a time that was not just a thrilling escape, but often more inclusive behind the closed doors of our bars and nightclubs than our open community today.

 

On the rare occasion that a gay related story found its way to the media in the 80s and early 90s, my ears would always perk up. I'd be curious, angry, and happy all at the same time, pretty much like any teenager struggling with his sexuality.

 

But one thing I never heard about until well into the 90s was the notion of marriage equality. I remember a dust up over civil unions in Hawaii sometime in the 1990s, and at the time I thought, "huh, that's a neat idea."

 

 

While marriage equality is great for same sex couples who want to raise families and get married, it's one cause in a pantheon of rights leading to complete equality, and one that leaves behind the misfits that helped us through our wonder years.

 

Many in the campaign have struggled to show the world "we're just like everyone else." Our community arduously seeks parallels in heterosexual couples and past movements for equal rights. 

 

 

But the difference between the gay rights movement and the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s is that we are different. Regardless of certain cultural characteristics that create the same ethnic diversity amongst religions and ethnicity, those who fought for racial equality in the 1960s were mostly men and women who lived and continue to live largely within the mainstream construct of marriage and family.

 

They wanted the right to live without fear of persecution, to have equal access to education and jobs, and to be able to walk down the street without being harassed. The fight for interracial marriage was just one part of the crusade.

 

Meanwhile, the gay rights movement has left many of us behind.

 

The HRC wants the world to know that we all want to settle down and get married. They want mainstream society to know that "we're just like you."

 

The problem is, we aren't.

 

Sure, we'd like to be treated like everyone else and enjoy the same freedoms and opportunities, one of which might be marriage, but what about those who may not be considering marriage, either now or in the future? What about bisexuals who may not want to choose?

 

The gay rights movement opened up a lot of questions about the traditional structure of our lives, and the organized politicos that hijacked the movement found it easier to shine by pretending to be someone else, and throw the misfits and unfortunates back in the closet.

 

HRC's fight for marriage equality makes it easy for mainstream society to accept us by bending to its mold. It's no surprise that the straight world has embraced the gay community now that our fight is focused primarily on traditions of straight couples.

 

Straight people are no longer burdened with accepting something they don't understand, but simply asked to accept the fallacy that we all wish to be lucky enough to live like them.

 

If marriage equality is the only right we're missing, then perhaps singling out this one cause is just. If that's the case, wonderful, we have little left to do.

 

But what about those abandoned by their families? Next time someone shares photos of their lavish Montauk wedding, think of the ones we've swept under the rug.

 

The marriage equality campaign has done something else. Singling out marriage equality and attributing it to the voice of all gay men and women casts an inadvertent prejudice on those who don't embrace it.  

 

The gay rights movement portrayed in the media is no longer aimed at celebrating diversity, just those who want to get hitched. The rest who, for whatever reason, don't want to get married are left to toil with the same prejudice we've always faced, plus a prejudice from those within our own community.

 

Our champions of cause are fighting for the country to embrace gay couples pushing baby strollers through Ambler and Jenkintown, dining at Friday's, and joining suburban book clubs.

 

Meanwhile the trailblazers who fought for our right to be different are being shoved back in the closet, gay bars and burlesque houses are being shuttered, and the counter-cultures that once simply wanted to be accepted as they are, are being asked to assimilate, or treated like burdens of the cause.

 

In that regard, my fondness for the past extends well beyond the nostalgic excitement of slipping into a private club and wondering if I'll get caught. It opens up a valid double standard that we've created for ourselves.

 

When we were struggling with our identity as gay men and women, we turned to other outsiders for support, and they turned to us. We kept each other optimistic. We counseled each other. They housed us when our parents threw us out. We had nothing in common other than the fact that we were different.

 

But these misfits who joined us in our dorm rooms have been ignored. Gay homeless teenagers still linger on the streets of our major cities. And anyone whose sexuality doesn't fall into a specific bucket is left without relief, while increasingly synonymous gay and straight mainstreams treat them like deviants.

 

Now that the rainbow has been usurped by HRC's corporate logo, our community has been stripped of its diversity, and those represented by the blue and yellow flag have been told we're no different than anyone else, instead of being told it's okay to be different.

 

 

If you want to be part of today's gay community, suit up and play the part. Reject the decadence and defiance that paved the way for those who dare asked to be married.

 

The colorful drag queens who once mocked bigotry and were the most fearless of us all are now a black mark on the campaign's quest to be boring.

 

Act straight and be normal.

 

We were once the community that challenged the notion of normality and that's the diversity I choose to embrace.

 

 

How to Vote in NC? Move to Another State

North Carolina didn't waste any time after the Supreme Court reached its "go forth and be racist" verdict. BuzzFeed compiled a nice little list regarding just how sticky it's going next time you try to vote in the Tarheel State.

Despite the fact that there were only 127 alleged cases of voter fraud in North Carolina's general election in 2012, conservatives in the state continue to rally behind the false notion that voting twice is swaying their state gay.

And regardless of that absurdity, most of their new restrictions have nothing to do with voter fraud and everything to do with making voting and voter registration less available.

Take a look:

The early voting period will be shortened by a week.
Why? Just, why?

Same day registration during the early voting period will be eliminated.
See above.

Straight party voting will be eliminated.
Please make sure you push EVERY BUTTON.

Party chairpersons will designate up to twelve poll "observers" to monitor polling stations.
In other words, security will be assigned to profile voters. "Move along, you're taking too long."

16 and 17 year olds will not be allowed to pre-register.
Since younger people are less likely to vote, most register as part of a class assignment. Since younger voters tend to be more liberal, Republicans can sleep well knowing that 18 year old high school grads probably aren't registered, and won't find their way to the voting booth.

College and local government IDs will no longer be accepted.
College students and government employees tend to be more liberal. See above.

Out of precinct voting will be eliminated.
Just to make it a little harder to get there.

Satellite locations will be restricted.
Again, just to make it harder.

Paid voter registration drives will be banned.
I'm pretty sure this is unconstitutional.

Counties will not be able to extend voting hours do to long lines or any extenuating circumstances.
So pretty much anyone who doesn't work 9-5 or can't take an extra break to vote, can't.

MSNBC Raking Their Own Muck

MSNBC news correspondents are organizing against an upcoming Hillary Clinton miniseries planned by NBC. It's not entirely clear why they consider the miniseries a bad idea, but there are certainly reasons the reaction can be in some way justified.

On one hand, NBC's liberal reputation timed with an upcoming Presidential election along with unsupported claims that Hillary has eyes on the ticket looks a little like propaganda. On another hand, there is a huge firewall between MSNBC and NBC, one largely ignored by those who tune in to either. And (let me find a third hand), the RNC has already claimed they'd boycott any MSNBC debate unless NBC agrees to pull the miniseries, obviously lumping them in with the camp that don't see the firewall.

With Chuck Todd giving the media the bird, joining Andrea Mitchell and (the somehow journalistically qualified) Alec Baldwin in the fight against their employers, MSNBC reporters are turning themselves into the story, breaking the cardinal rule of journalism: report the news, don't make it.

Well, cry me a river, Chuck and Andrea.

This is one of the demons that comes with a conglomerate’s privilege of owning absolutely everything, right down to the viewers’ opinions. If you want to work absent of corporate conflicts of interest, write a blog. Considering everything owned by the Legion that runs NBC and MSNBC, it's a wonder that they're ever allowed to report on anything. Then again, if you actually listen to what most of the network's reporters say, they don't.

I’d be a little more sympathetic if MSNBC wasn’t a member of the trifecta of self indulgent media outlets that forces me to turn to BuzzFeed and Cracked.com for news.  

I love Hillary and I’m a raging liberal, but I’m sick of pious pundits smugly lecturing each other in Beltwayease, telling us what we already know, and preaching to the choir just to sell ad space. Pulling in an actor employed by NBC not only enforces the absent firewall between the two networks, but also proves that MSNBC's journalists are only slightly more credible than a cast member from the Jersey Shore.  

Remember what happened to TLC and the Discovery Channel? MSNBC is a few short years away with what is already scripted reality. They're providing us entertainment, not news, and it’s only a matter of time before most people wise up and realize the Jurassic Journalism raked by the major media networks is about to be as dead as the newspaper.

If the RNC's boycott of MSNBC wasn't justified by some silly miniseries, they've got a good reason now:

MSNBC calls this integrity?

Russia's Growing Pains

While the United States does not yet wholly support gay rights, with plenty of vocal and downright viscous opposition from extremely conservative minorities, the United States has come a long way in the past thirty years.

Despite criticism from other, more liberal western countries the size of Michigan, the United States will always struggle with tolerance being the diverse grab bag of opinionated nonsense that our people tend to be.
 
It's easy criticism, and easy to overlook the fact that legalization of gay marriage in any European country isn't comparable to our inevitable legalization of the same. The fact that 17 American states will marry same sex couples, and our federal government recognizes it as well, is a feat unlike any other.

We're the world's biggest melting pot of nut jobs, or more sympathetically, cultural diversity. Getting just one state to agree to legalize something that prompted parental discretion disclaimers in 1990 is an unparalleled accomplishment.

As each American state decides whether to legalize or outlaw gay marriage based on its government's interpretation of the Constitution, some European nations have legalized gay marriage despite overwhelming opposition.

Each state may not recognize gay marriage, but it says more that over half of our citizens support gay marriage than it does that France nationally legalized gay marriage despite the fact that almost 30% of its citizens say they wouldn't even want to live next door to a gay couple.

Of course I'm certainly not saying that the legalization of gay marriage in France is a bad thing, just as it won't be bad when the feds finally step in and force our lingering Hate States to do the same. Minorities need to be protected for the very fact that they're minorities. They'll always be enough bigots hiding in pockets of any country to vote away their neighbors' rights.

The United States is starting to look a little less like we're late to the party and a little more like just another big gay fruit basket. 

However Russia, once on the verge of becoming a major ally after a very long war is quickly distancing itself from the western culture its citizens briefly and radically embraced. Maybe they wouldn't be so cranky if they hadn't kicked off democracy by opening a McDonald's.

Russia is working on a slew of barbaric laws criminalizing homosexual "propaganda," bills expected to pass in the upper houses and signed into law by President Vladamir Putin. Although Russia decriminalized homosexuality shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall, the new bill will criminalize anyone promoting a lifestyle not conducive to procreation.

This is stirring up emotions in Russia's increasingly "out" population, but also sparking concern among Olympians set to perform in the 2014 Winter Games to be held in Sochi, Russia. The new laws will allow the government to arrest and detain foreigners they perceive to be promoting a homosexual lifestyle, and in the wake of public "It Gets Better" videos, Olympic coming out stories, and supportive friends and family, advocates that have made their opinion public on YouTube are understandably queasy about heading to Russia in six months.

It's also concerning that Russia's track record in the Olympics can be most politely described as "nationalistic," while many might call the country's sportsmanship downright poor. I'm not suggesting that Russia would detain any Olympians on the grounds of their sexuality to give their own athletes leg up, but I wouldn't put their Olympic officials above harassment or intimidation either.

Among other laws that Russia has proposed to discourage homosexuality, Russia will also be prohibiting the adoption of Russian children in any country that recognizes gay marriage, even if that child would be going to a straight couple in an American state that doesn't recognize gay marriage.

Of course all this might be perfectly timed to united Americans, even conservatives, against a common enemy of tolerance. After all, a lot of Americans opposed to gay marriage don't want to be on the side of outright bigotry. These archaic laws being handed down by a country many Americans once viewed as a rather reasonable peer might just show a lot of conservative Americans just how petty they're being.

It's just unfortunate that after thirty years of democracy, many Russians seem fed up with trying to accept opinions that they'd rather see subjugated behind an Iron Curtain.

It's sad, but I guess not so surprising. The nation shuttered its people from the world for about forty years. They dove into a capitalistic democracy headfirst with a midcentury understanding of what it meant. They were expecting I Love Lucy and got Will & Grace.

Getting many Russians to tolerate the 21st Century is like asking Grover Cleveland to pull up his Netflix queue on an iPad.

Half of them are cynical Ayn Rands who view anything counter productive as waste, like homosexuality. The other half have been squashed by the upper class and blame their poverty on western influences, like homosexuality. While the few in the middle, those who actually explored the world with an open mind, are trapped in the middle.

West Hollywood nightclubs are boycotting Russian vodka to protest these laws, but it might not end at the bar. Is a national Olympic boycott unrealistic? Keep in mind, the last time Russia hosted the Olympic Games in 1980, twenty nine countries competed in the American-led Olympic Boycott Games, or Liberty Bell Classic, in Philadelphia.

Florida: The New Old South

I don't have to say anything about the George Zimmerman trial. If you don't know what it was all about you probably aren't reading this. So I'm simply going to point to Florida's recent track record as America's segregated water fountain.

Unfortunately the back of the bus is nothing compared to what Florida's District Attorneys and jurors have been throwing at its state's minorities this year.

16 year old Kiera Wilmot was arrested for felony misconduct when a science experiment blew the lid off a water bottle, a charge that could have potentially landed her in prison as a domestic terrorist. The same District Attorney declined to file any charges when a nearby boy accidentally shot and killed his younger brother.

Kiera is black, the boy who shot his brother, not.

High school student Kaitlyn Hunt was arrested for child abuse when she continued a long term relationship with a freshman after turning 18 while countless other Florida high school students continue their relationships with underclass students long after graduation. Kaitlyn faces potential prison time and registering as a sex offender.

Kaitlyn was dating a girl.

George Zimmerman was cleared of all charges for killing Treyvon Martin in what he claims was self defense while Jacksonville's Marissa Alexander was sentenced to twenty years in prison after firing warning shots in her own home against her abusive husband, a man she had a protective order against. Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law states a victim of a crime is allowed to immediately retaliate in defense, and was used to help Zimmerman's defense clear him of all charges. Alexander used it in her defense to no avail.

Marissa Alexander is black.

Welcome to Florida: "You got your rights, now don't step out of line."

Fighting Prejudice with Prejudice

I always found bachelorette parties annoying, especially in gay bars. But then I inadvertently wound up in my sister's party and we found our way to Aqua Grill in Rehoboth Beach, DE. Finding myself on the receiving end of a reactionary double standard our own community created, and witnessing the aftermath of being asked to leave really disappointed me.

Not only did Delaware recently legalize gay marriage, but federal equality is recognized there as well...both situations that every woman (and gay man) in this party was well aware of. So how is this a slap in the face?

Plus, it's a beach bar, not a local, windowless tavern populated by curmudgeons that use their local watering holes like gay community centers. In fact, if you're that insecure about your sexuality, you probably shouldn't be seeking out a bar to cope.

 

You don't fight prejudice with prejudice.

 

Luckily each of these women was understanding and has been a long time ally of our community and no sour experience will spoil that.

What's astonishing is just how inconsiderate this attitude is. Sure, these parties can be a bit annoying, but it's a once in a lifetime celebration. While expelling these parties might quell the insecurity of the few annoyed by their very presence, salvaging the evening for a handful of gay men unable to turn the other cheek leaves a lasting impression on a group celebrating an event that they will likely never experience again and  will remember for the rest of their lives.

Of course none of this bigotry compares to the blatant statement from the manager that the bar caters to men, and that he waited to say something to us at first because three me were in our party. I know this is common in our "gay bars," but it's also 2013. I'm dumfounded that misogyny prevails in the gay male community.

 

In fact, given the reaction from straight men throughout the night, the sexism on the part of Aqua far exceeds anything I saw all night.

Bars in Delaware aren't allowed to ask gay men to leave, how does it do ourselves any favors to expressly discourage an entire gender from our public establishments?

 

Aqua needs to update its website, which clearly states, "Aqua Grill is a gay-owned and operated establishment, but welcomes everyone and features an eclectic mix of avid party-goers, locals, adoring fans and weekly tourists."

 

All American Boy

The latest YouTube sensation is young, hot, gay, and...country. Steve Grand's self funded video for All American Boy blew up the social media today, garnering an outpouring of support from around the world.

Surprisingly though, reaction within our own community was mixed.

Grand was no star. He had no agent, no manager, no record label, and risked the $7000 he scraped together to produce a video and post it on the internet.

The video follows the friendship of two men, one gay, one straight, each balancing the frustrations that come with having a crush on a friend, and wanting to just be friends.

Were it a girl and a boy, it would have been just another cliché Taylor Swift video.

Unfortunately some of the reaction within the gay community proved that we can occasionally be our own worst enemy. While some reactions sympathized with the excitement that comes with the fantasy of lusting over a straight guy, some were downright visceral, claiming the video called gays "sad, predatory drunks."

Neither do the video justice and both speak from cynicism and segregated isolation.

Ironically those calling Grand's video a self loathing glutton for gay bashing are confusing openness with integration and acceptance. The best thing about this video is it steps outside the polarizing gay-only world most of us feel we have to subscribe to and hands us a fictional scenario where no one gives a shit.

We should all be so lucky.

Mark S. King, blogger for The Bilerico Project attempts to defend the gay community buy using every negative stereotype to his advantage, neglecting to identify with a growing trend amongst straight millennials who view their gay brethren as equals.

One sad fact about the gay community may prove to be our own silver lining. The truth is, as a community we have nothing innately in common with each other but our attraction to our own gender.

Divergent sexual orientation doesn't choose a race, religion, ethnicity, or nationality. It happens to everyone. The sad fact is that a minority only bound by those we choose to love strives for acceptance by resorting to cold, political strategy, when all we really need to do is show the rest of the world we're just like them.

We crush. We reject. We face rejection.

Just like everyone else.

The brilliance in Grand's video lies within it's simplicity. It speaks from the heart, not the podium. As gays and lesbians continue to gain acceptance the lines between straight and gay can and should blur.

His portrayal of a boyhood crush might not be realistic yet, but it's what we should hope for. We've all rejected and been rejected. Grand's video turns our expectations upside down by replacing the benign rejection of "you're not my type" with sexual orientation by ignoring the false notion that it should be any different.

That's a good thing.

Reacting to the outpouring of support from both his gay and straight audience, Grand stated, "I would die a happy man today...and it's the first time in my entire life I can say that." Instead of seeking support from our own ugly stereotypes, let's enjoy the fact that we too can say the same.

Is Alec Baldwin a Homophobe?

Absolutely not. After the UK's not so legitimate "news" outlet, The Daily Mail, published George Stark's accusation that Baldwin's wife Hilaria was Tweeting during James Gandolfini's funeral, Baldwin took to Twitter himself to launch a series of "attacks" at Stark, one point calling him a "toxic little queen."

Well, the media didn't miss a step a hopped right on the butter behind Paula Deen branding Baldwin a raging homophobe.

There's a bit of irony in the fact that so many gay men have supported Deen in her alleged struggle despite the fact that she has chosen to make excuses and paint herself the victim rather than empathize, a woman who's done nothing for the gay community, yet quickly jumped on the attack wagon against someone who's vocally supported us for decades, even before it was popular.

Fame in the Age of the Internet

The new media is quickly proving that the double edged sword of fame might not always be worth the cash. As apologies from celebrities become more and more forced they seem less sincere even when they are.

As Twitter and Facebook make our icons more accessible, that access becomes less genuine. It's through no fault of our actors and singers who would probably prefer to do their jobs, but the internet is turning those with careers into inadvertent Kardashians. Most aren't fame whores; they're professionals, parents, children, and employees. 

Baldwin and Deen aren't politicians professionally versed in public relations and probably just want to go back to work. While celebrities have publicists that handle the nightmares that follow their missteps, occasional outburst are nothing compared to how most civilians would handle the unjust expectations of the public eye.

I challenge anyone questioning Baldwin's actions to react to the accusation that your pregnant wife was misbehaving during the funeral of a good friend, an accusation broadcast to the entire world. Baldwin's comments weren't only just, they were understated.

Words are Words

In what the media undoubtedly wishes was the f-bomb, Baldwin called Stark a "toxic little queen." As a card carrying homo, I'm not only unoffended by it, I agree.

It's not a broad label that unfairly applies to a broad range of people, and the word "queen" itself has never necessarily been offensive. Let's get down to semantics here. The insult in that phrase is "toxic little." Stark is a queen, and his comments were toxic and little. We all agree that the paparazzi are the scum of the journalism industry, and most in the paparazzi likely agree.

When it comes to equality, we're just now seeing light at the end of tunnel. Perhaps we should take this time to consider how our community views the words that hurt us in the past. Let's say Baldwin did drop the f-bomb. Given his support for all of our causes, only the smallest of us would be so shortsighted as to ignore decades of public action and label him a homophobe for one slip of the Twit.

In light of Paula Deen's past comments there has been nonstop debate about how we view words, how some can use them and some can't. Although most agree the f-bomb isn't appropriate for anyone, the gay community has yet to publish an official language guide for political correctness.

Maybe we shouldn't.

Instead of segregating our vocabulary, maybe we should shrug it off. Let's face it, there will always be ass holes out there who utter obscenities. I just did. Maybe we should kill the power behind the word by shrugging it off with a, "yeah, I'm a fag, so what?" All of a sudden the word becomes as benign as "black" or "gay" and bigots are forced to struggle with the fact that their insults have no power.

The Double Standard

We often grant a free pass to friends, family, and those closest to us, but expect those we'll never know to stand motionless against public scrutiny. The next time you're at a family reunion and Uncle Eddie says "I like The Big Bang Theory, even though Parson's a little fruit," treat him like a celebrity. Call CNN. Post a blog about it. Send an angry mob to his house.

Celebrities are burdened with an unfair responsibility to act in a certain manner, to stifle opinions and comments we're free to make. In return - we tell ourselves - they're millionaires. Most of us will never know what it's like to face the court of public opinion, yet we claim to know how one should react. When a man's family is publically attacked, the public attacks the victim.

Any reasonable person knows that Baldwin's comments were directed at one person and only one person, but reason doesn't exist behind the cloak of the internet. Comments fueled by jealousy are masked behind the anonymity of the comments section. Anyone shocked that such an outspoken advocate for gay rights hasn't actually considered the fact that Baldwin is such an outspoken advocate for gay rights.

It's offensive to our own fight that we forced an apology from this great man. George Stark is a public figure himself and has done more damage representing our community as a toxic little queen, allowing us to tear apart a man who continues to fight for our cause, against some of his own family members, despite the fact that he doesn't have to.

Paula Deen Fired: Hype or a Just Discision

Will the reigning queen of the Food Network fired just one hour after her publically posted apologies, the blogosphere has exploded with an outpouring of support for the 66 year old self trained chef, harshly criticizing the cable network's swift decision.

If you haven't heard what happened, one of Deen's Savannah restaurants has been slapped with a discrimination suit by a former employee. During a deposition and under oath, Deen admitted to having used racial slurs in the past, although a long time in the past.

Unfortunately for everyone, the media storm, and perhaps even the deposition itself, focused too sharply on one word, and you can guess which word.

Once the internet caught wind of the admission, the quest to uncover the alleged discrimination at Deen's restaurant took a back seat to hype, as did the notion that racism is much more than one word.

It isn't just unfair to Deen whose case has been moved from the courthouse to the court of public opinion, but by reducing racism to one word, it's unfair to those charging her restaurant with discrimination.

One would think any legal representative involved in a racial discrimination case would understand that the intricacies of racism are far more dynamic than words. This undermines the entire claim and those who may have very truly been victimized by Deen's employees.

And what about Deen herself? Did she use this word in the past because it was acceptable, and in an irrelevant context? Did she use it as a racial slur? Did she hold racist beliefs in the past? And if so, can a former racist be forgiven?

Many have recently come out in favor of gay marriage, including politicians as prominent as our own President, claiming their opinion on the topic has "evolved." Former f-bomb dropping classmates are now my Facebook friends donning red HRC marriage equality profile pics. Twenty years from now will we be vilifying them for something they said in 1992?

Now that Deen's case has gone down the rabbit hole of the internet no one but her and those closest to her will ever know how she really feels. Youtube apologies are the go-to response of all celebrities, the genuine and not so genuine. Whether we except it or not it's impossible to determine if an apology is genuine when it's been requested or forced.

Meanwhile Food Network is facing its own unjust scrutiny over a decision that likely had very little to do with the word Deen uttered many years ago. In the world of reality television, Food Network sets surprisingly high standards. You don't see Cake Boss or Hell's Kitchen on Food Network because the network makes strides to avoid hiring personalities that overshadow the content.

Deen was already a larger than life character that came close to pushing the network's limits, but her recipes always came first. Food Network likely chose not to renew Deen's contract because her personal life due to the trial has become more prominent than her show, which is why she'll undoubtedly be offered a spot on a less respectable network like TLC.

PB&J is Racist...

...wait, what? Wasn't peanut butter invented by George Washington Carver?

Well one principal from the Harvey Scott K-8 school in Portland, OR, Verenice Gutierrez, seems to think that the otherwise benign sandwich has subtle implications pointing towards white privilege, namely because of the concept of the sandwich itself. She points directly to Somali or Hispanic students who might eat torta or pita.

Branding the insidious sandwich came as part of Portland's "Courageous Conversations" program, encouraging school employees to read articles and discuss popular topics from the perspective of "white privilege."

In other words, it's a program designed to make a privileged demographic feel like they've done their part without actually making them talk to a real minority.

Of course, it's bad enough whenever you get enough privileged people in a room together. You can be sure something's going to get banned. If it's not abortion or gay marriage, they're banning shellfish and dodgeball.

But what about the kids? A bunch of officials, who admittedly know nothing about racial adversity by creating a program to analyze racial adversity - without consulting anyone adversely affected by racism - have charged themselves with tackling racial adversity.

That's what's taking place. And they're serious.

Meanwhile the minority students at Harvey Scott are saddled with a principal telling everyone that their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist towards them.

It is amazing the lengths to which the privileged will go to make the underprivileged miserable, just to quell their own guilt.

What's more racist than Falafel Friday? Having a  Falafel Friday just to make your Middle Eastern students feel comfortable, when a kid of any color doesn't care what's for lunch as long as it tastes good.

Brogurt

I've always loved yogurt. Sure, I'm gay, but when I was being picked on in school, the last thing anyone cared about was the cup of yogurt in my lunchbox.

In fact a quick Google search for "Why don't guys eat yogurt" comes up with countless articles and blogs questioning just that.

In fact, most include a list of comments from wives whose husbands put yogurt on their shopping lists, and even some husbands complaining that the portion size is too small for men.

It's true. It's delicious. It's an excellent and refreshing post-workout snack. And as far as I know there is absolutely nothing about it that makes it more or less beneficial for men or women. In fact, it's extremely healthy for everyone. Hell, a quick survey of men (in my general vicinity) states that all men buy yogurt, often two at a time.

So why then do advertisers exclusively market the healthy treat to women. Jamie Lee Curtis plugs her Activia like it's the healthy gateway to menopause while countless other young hotties lick their lids exclaiming it's the reason for their tight abs. But where are the men? Aside from John Stamos whose surname landed him his own Greek yogurt ad campaign, I've never seen a man eat yogurt on television.

Of course the truth is probably that sweets generally aren't marketed towards men. In fact short of Hungry Man and barbeque sauce, food is rarely marketed to men at all.

While one brand of yogurt, Powerful Yogurt, uses the Axe Body spray approach to market a product they know we'll use anyway by branding the same yummy goo in a manly black cup, it hasn't really taken off.

Likely because most men will just eat what's already in the fridge. And if you're living with a chick, some young Hollywood celebutante has made sure it's already stocked with a pretty pink cup of yogurt.

Mobile's Prancing Elites

Mobile's Prancing Elites, an all male cheerleading squad in...Alabama...get Out's Internet Win of the day, and receive praise from Shaquille O’Neal.

Take a look.

Another Witch Hunt in Florida

Kaitlyn Hunt was just like many other high school seniors, looking forward to graduation, dating a younger classmate, likely wondering what might come of a budding romance once college began. You know, the typical burdens of our teenage years that are mountains of anxiety to the adolescent mind.

But Kaitlyn and her parents didn't know that the complexities of being a teenager, and raising one, were nothing compared to the stink of bigotry and hatred laying in wait, plotting a way to utterly destroy the life of an innocent and bright teenager.

Why?

You guessed it. Kaitlyn was dating a girl.

18 year old Kaitlyn was arrested for a romance that began in November with a 14 year old student, and now faces two felony counts of "lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 to 16." Police took Kaitlyn away from the Hunt-Smith household in handcuffs back in February.

Kaitlyn's mother, Kelly Hunt-Smith has stood by her daughter, claiming that the other parents had never reached out to her or stated that they had any problem with the relationship.

The Sebastian River High School refused to expel Kaitlyn despite the parents' plea to have her removed from the school. The parents successfully managed to get the school board to remove Kaitlyn weeks before graduation, however she finished school elsewhere and will be able to walk from Sebastian River.

Kaitlyn Hunt with her father, Steve.

Indian River County Sheriff Deryl Loar claimed that the prosecution was entirely based on the age difference, and not sexual orientation. There's no reason to believe that's not true, after all this won't be the first time that Florida has prosecuted an 18 or 19 year old senior for a relationship with a younger student.

However, the larger question is whether Kaitlyn would have even been arrested in the first place had her girlfriend's parents not brought the situation to the authorities.

However things may have gotten a little stickier this week.

Circuit Judge Robert Pegg eagerly pushed back 200 pending criminal cases to get to Kaitlyn's trial, a move which Hunt's attorney, Julia Graves claims was driven by bias towards Hunt.

It's hard not to leap to conclusions about the Florida justice system shortly after the arrest of Kiera Wilmot, another Florida minority, for conducting an impromptu "science experiment" that could have landed her in prison as a domestic terrorist.

Fortunately for Kiera, the charges were dropped and she has been allowed to return to school to graduate, thanks in part to an outpouring of support for the science community. While the bigotry Kiera faced was very real and should not be forgotten, Kaitlyn faces a much more recently accepted level of bigotry, a type of hatred not just accepted in her part of the country, but applauded as just.

Although Kaitlyn has received an outpouring of support from around the world, much of that world and her's still view Kaitlyn's sexuality as deviant, regardless of her age or her girlfriend's.

State prosecutors offered Hunt a plea bargain that would allow her to avoid registering as a sex offender if she pleads guilty to child abuse. However that felony charge would remain on her record and affect her college and job prospects, and require her to be on house arrest for two years and probation for one.

State attorney Bruce Colton stated that the prosecuting family does not want Hunt to face jail time, but to be held "responsible." Its true that prosecutors, police, and school administrators are technically doing their jobs, and there really is no objective proof that any of the elected or appointed officials have acted out of prejudice, at least not yet.

But the most reprehensible party in the entire situation are the parents of Kaitlyn's girlfriend. Parents who are vested enough in their child's life to contact the police regarding her girlfriend, but unwilling to talk to anyone in their daughter's life.

What kind of relationship could they possibly have with their daughter? The sad fact is that despite the turning tides of public acceptance towards gays and lesbians, these parents likely believe they are acting in the best interest of their daughter by destroying the life of someone else's.

How Intellectual Curiosity Can Land You in Jail

Remember that episode of Saved by the Bell when Jessie Spano's intellectual curiosity got the best of her and an unauthorized science experiment landed her in court, defending herself against adult felony charges? No? I don't either. Would you believe it if it happened to Lisa Turtle? Still no? Then you're not Assistant District Attorney Tammy Glotfelty.

If you haven't heard of Kiera Wilmot you probably soon will. Here's the story.

Wilmot is a sixteen year old high school student in Polk County, FL. A good student with no disciplinary problems, she has the kind of scientific curiosity that MIT fights over. She also made a bad choice. She decided to conduct an impromptu science experiment on school grounds. By mixing toilet cleaner and aluminum foil in water bottle, she created a small explosion. The trick can be found on YouTube and has been the topic of reality shows along with what happens when you drop Mentos in Diet Coke.

It's a fun, harmless gag.

Twenty years ago it would have wound up on Nickelodeon or an afterschool special, ending with the kind of disciplinary action that teaches its audience a common life lesson. That's not the world we live in.

Wilmot was led out of school in handcuffs and now faces two felony charges, likely as an adult. What may be worse, Bartow High School's principal slapped her with an expulsion, forcing her to complete her high school career in an expulsion program, completely shattering any hope that Wilmot might be accepted to the kind of colleges that typically grant scholarships for this kind of scientific curiosity.

On paper, this might sound like part of our nation's growing paranoia. In the wake of the Boston bombings, it might even be an understandable, if misguided, overreaction. But that isn't the whole story. Kiera Wilmot is black, and the Polk County Sheriff's Department has done a fine job proving that Florida is still very much a part of the Old South.

Of course it's way too easy to make that generalization solely based on the fact that Wilmot is black. With schools banning dodgeball and peanut butter, it's not hard to imagine Jessie Spano being thrown in jail for anything remotely resembling a bomb.

However, any consideration was thrown out when, two days later, the same Assistant District Attorney decided not to prosecute a thirteen year old who accidentally shot and killed his little brother. That was likely the right decision. After all, Taylor Richardson will forever have to live with this fact.

But why was the "boys will be boys" approach taken for an accident that resulted in a tragic death, and not employed after a harmless experiment blew up a water bottle? Why did Glotfelty cite the prestigious Roosevelt Academy in her decision not to prosecute Richardson, but not Wilmot's academic or disciplinary record at Bartow High School? One guess what color Richardson is.

Deciding to charge Wilmot as an adult is a reflection of the visceral double standard that lingers in our nation. Bartow High School's policy requires expulsion, but Polk County law doesn't require felony charges, and certainly doesn't require trying a sixteen year old child as an adult. These choices are entirely at the discretion of ADA Tammy Glotfelty and reflection of a racially hostile community itching to throw the book at any minority who steps out of line.

Join the Facebook page, sign the petition, and write the Polk County Sheriff's Department:

 

255 N Broadway Ave. Bartow, FL  33830

(863) 534-4800

 

 

NOW a warning?!

A Comcast customer service representative refused to give me the monthly cost for service after the promo-period without providing a social security number and opening an account. Apparently Comcast internet service is like the potion from Death Becomes Her.

The sordid topic of coin I'm afraid is not so simple...the cost, you see, it's different for everyone - Lisle von Rhoman, Death Becomes Her, and Chris from customer service.

Why Max Blum is the Best Gay Character You Don't Know

If you're reading this you might not know who Max Blum is. That's a shame, because ABC's Happy Endings isn't just the funniest show you're not watching, it's home to the most refreshing gay man on television since Jack Tripper pretended to be one in Three's Company.

Max is slovenly, loosely employed, a little chunky, and he doesn’t care. In fact, on paper it's easy to assume Max (played by Adam Pally) is creator David Caspe's attempt to provide a gay character whose sexuality ends with the fact that he happens to be gay.

Whenever I watch Modern Family or The New Normal, it's entertaining, but I see a show full of novelty produced by calculated market research that gives the audience the same dated jokes we've been fed since Will & Grace. It's nice that Hollywood isn't afraid of homosexuality, but it's even nicer that Caspe's Happy Endings isn't afraid of actual homosexuals.

 

Max's presence on Happy Endings goes well beyond tokenism. If Caspe only wanted to create a gay character that straight men can relate to, he's unwittingly given a voice to a bunch of gay men who struggle to find a place in a community of very high expectations.

Adam Pally as Happy Endings' Max Blum

 

Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful that so many sitcoms have provided dynamic gay cast members and don't shy away from sexuality and conflict. Since Ellen came out of the prime time closet and Will & Grace swept the Emmys, gay characters have thrived as open and integral parts of Hollywood's success, and it's made an undeniable impact on society. That's important.

 

Portraying gay characters in a positive light is responsible, and in many cases - Modern Family, The New Normal, Will & Grace - the relatable gay characters are exceedingly successful. However, in each of those cases, the “straight man” (characteristically speaking) is paired with an eccentric stereotype.

 

This makes sense. After all, the eccentric stereotype is hilarious. But this approach is also the safest way to portray edgy content. Namely, it isn't threatening. Homer Simpson once said exactly what Hollywood thinks of its straight male audience: “I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaaaaming.”

The formula works. Will & Grace was wildly successful before gays could kiss on TV, and Modern Family and Glee are being lauded as pioneers by gay advocates. But they target an audience that's used to us. Happy Endings is the first show to offer the “bro” crowd a gay character who isn't offensive and two dimensional. Max is the gay bro they can relate to.
 

The entire cast doesn't concern themselves with misconceptions. Instead of selling his straight audience short, Caspe gives the urban straight man what he's already experienced. The truth is, most guys don't care if their gay friends are successful, effeminate, slovenly, or poor. They care that they're loyal friends.

 

Happy Endings frequently pokes fun at our expectations about sexuality, race, and gender, often by ignoring these expectations altogether. It's grounded in exaggerations, word play, and no stranger to cheap shots, but even when a stereotype finds his way on screen, he still manages to be endearing.

 

This ensemble isn't for everyone, and while a lot of many gay men may cringe at Max's behavior, much of that reaction is conditioned by misconceptions about our own community. We're not all lawyers and doctors or theatrical stereotypes, and a lot of us are perfectly okay with that. In a new Hollywood in love with its gay characters, it's refreshing to see another layer to our very diverse community.